Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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