It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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