He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
