i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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