I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
