He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
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