There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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