Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
