Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're earring is so big in my mouth
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
