Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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