Im at strip club and am horny
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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