sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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