That's intense
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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