is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
