Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
