i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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