He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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