Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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