guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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