Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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