fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
