This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.