I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
3pm strippers are depressing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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