I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
