how can u be prego again
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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