The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
