You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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