Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
