What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I forget how to act sober
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
