My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
