Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize