We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
