You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
