once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
