I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
