It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
