Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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