Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
