I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize