Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
