Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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