Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
