Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Found your dick twin last night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
