We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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