We won't sleep together?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
