How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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