is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
