Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize