i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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