i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
