I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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