Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
