Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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