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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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