Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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