Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

Fav 2 859 2015
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(727): View more from Florida

If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"

Fav 36 853 4535
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.

Fav 5 2861 1003
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(940): View more from Texas

I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

Fav 41 1744 8417
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(+82): View more from South Korea

I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?

Fav 8 2003 1427
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

Fav 15 900 3900
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

Fav 6 1377 694
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(585): View more from New York

I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.

Fav 3 216 246
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(530): View more from California

What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.

Fav 0 26 34
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