So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize