yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
