just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
