If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
