You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....