I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.