Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
