In the future we'll all be gay
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.