Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment