at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.