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i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
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