I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year