Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
