U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
